Tales from WalNart

I think I'm getting blogger's block!! haha..... so this post will be very random!!

It's suprising how some people just have this crazy-people magnet. I really think it's either genetic or an incurable disease! haha.... I for one know how it is to live and breathe with this dreadful, but interesting disease. I too bear the burden of dealing with such encounters. I have a few friends who know what it's like to bear this burden.  Honestly, I do seem to attatract crazy people....especially being around  church or walnart(yes I call it walnart)....my old phone used to type it that way....why??!?! i have no clue....but it makes walmart seem like a magical place like naria when you call it walnart!!....even tonight as I was checking out the cashier proceeded to tell the ladies in front of me her whole medical history.....I could tell these two ladies suffered from the same disease that I did. I breathed a sigh of relief as I was expecting that the cashier had felt a relief after sharing her story with them. Boy was I wrong!!!! haha.....she proceeded to tell me part of her story....most of it a repeat...but nontheless she gave me the cliff notes version.....lol....Really cashier, I don't mean to sound uncompassionate, but I could really care less that you've got "contact allergies" from some hormone medication that your doctor put you on that has side affects of causing allergies.....and I don't care that someone purchasing a huge thing of fabric softner really set your allergies off....I am concerned, however, about that nasty cough you got going on...."sure" blame that on the allergies too!!! lol......
Which reminds me.... I love peopleofwalmart.com  .......I wanted to talk a picture of someone a couple of weeks ago at walnart!!! I think it must have been clubwear night!! I sure missed the memo on that one.... I mean I could have pulled an outfit together......I think there must have been some kind of competition...lol.......
Another thing about our walnart....THE SECURITY GUARD!!! I feel so safe when I'm walking in the parking lot late at night......please tell me you can sense the sarcasm in my voice!!!! lol......Granny , the security guard patrols that parking lot like she works for the Secret Service......let's put it this way....Granny must be at least 76.....weighs in about 95 pounds......probably 5'3.....and carries one HECK of a flashlight!!....And once again I reinterate how safe I feel at walnart!!! lol
     There was even this one time that this mexican couple on the deodorant isle asked me what body spray was??!?!!/....how do you explain that one?!?! ....haha.....My spanish is not that good....finally I was able to pull "perfume" out my butt and quickly leave the isle!! hahaha
     In cleveland, I even encountered the real walmart stalker!! And yes I stalked him...and even watched as he stalked young girls on isles by themselves.....finally I told him he needed to quit stalking people.....and yes I scared him....he wasn't all there.....
     I've also had someone come up to my cousin and I and say one of us should be a model...lmbo...now we both argue as to who he was saying it to.....I, being of average height and very curvy /fluffy and she being of short stature and petite frame....are not really model types....so I'm not sure he was all there as well.......
     Haha...I just remembered falling in walnart one time....my roommate julie and I had made a late night run for some milk or orange juice... I can't remember which one...but I know I was hurrying down to the back of the store....I had almost made it to the cooler when.....the slip and slide occured.....one second I was standing and the next I was laying in the floor....I should've made her do an outline....lol....The poor stock boy didn't know what to think... i just remember laying there laughing!!..who would have though a puddle of "Water" would be in the middle of the cooler section....but boy did I find it.....

Now that I've wasted your time with walnart stories.... I just remembered what I really wanted to blog about.....so now I'll actually just list these......here of some of my southern accentuals..lol:

wudder=water
sanwish=sandwhich
Eckerds= Eckerd
Krystals=krystal
used to could= past tense of something that I used to do
killed him dead= ??? lol
Macheeeauto= Macchiato *yes very embarassing...lol
watcha doin?= what are you doing?


Those are just a few ..... Let me know of other things I say!!! hahaha

ooooo...maybe I'll do a "guilty pleasures" "in-the closet likes" list tomorrow!!! :) ........I'lll have to keep you waiting to see what things I like that are kind of embarassing!!! hahahahahahaa

I will leave you with a few walnart quotes:

"I was thinking about bringing sexy back...but I can't find the receipt...dang...I was gonna exchange it at Wal-mart for the new book...Being Single for Dummies..."

things to do in walmart 158: buy a chocolate bar go to the bathroom smear chocolate on your hand reach under the next stall and ask can I have some toilet paper

Why do they sell bras at Walmart? I seem to be the only person wearing one when I'm in the store!

I can't wait until I'm old and can wear a house coat to Wal-Mart at 2:30 on a Wednesday.

.....See y'all at WALNART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!